Jasmine Was Dying

Yesterday when I arrived home. My youngest brother Aldi, told me that since afternoon Jasmine didnt do anything. Even She looked sick. Even She didnt swim as usual. She stopped to do anything since afternoon. Oh...what happened with my Brazilian Turtle?

I touched her and kissed her. Oh my God, I smell something fresh. It was just like perfume or Soap. I asked to Aldi, what had happened to Jasmine. What did he do to Jasmine.

Aldi answered it honestly, "I helped her to take shower. She was so stinky with fish smell. I used soap to clean her and her box".

I was shock, "Whuat?!? Why did you do?".

I was confused what should I do. So I just told Jasmine, "Min...please wake up. Please never give up! You should fight! COmeone...Franklin is waiting for you. WIll you leave us?".

Then I brought Jasmine to bathroom and put her on water. 1 minute...2....3....Yeah. Jasmine started to swim........Jasmine still lived. Horray........!?!

I thought she would die after that accident. Jasmine was dying after took shower with my brother.

Hahahha..........

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BALANCE ACCOUNT FOR SINGLE FIGHTER

Do you know how much balance account for single fighter especially girl??? The answer would be variable. But if we tried to make limitation only for girl who has just built their career after graduated from university but hasnt married yet (single fighter). The age would be between 22 to 27 or may be 30yrs old.

I conducted this research due to I had problem with my balance account. I often had balance account almost ZERO. Whuat?!? how could it happen? How a single who had good salary couldnt save any money while she had no husband and kids to support. Where was the money gone?

My salary was Rp X,X00,000 (excl. royalty if any, business if any, extra if any), 5 or 6 times than my office boy's salary in my previous company who had 2 kids and a wife. He lived in Depok. It means he should took a long journey before arrived to office. SLIPI to DEPOK would be reached for hundreds kilometres. The cheapest way was using economic train. It would take more than an hour. Well, if we used our logical mind we would say, "How could he support his family?"

I would not say that my money was gone with the wind, although I didnt understand. But I think, I was not a such of extravagant girl who loved to spend money without any consideration. Then where was it gone?

I used that for lunch in office, transportation, family leisure, beauty clinic, dentist (for behel treatment), accidental, charity, books, private leisure (hang out with friend, shopping, etc). And ofcourse the percentage for lunch&transportation was the least. Where should I minimize? I dont think so. All that I spent was worthy things.

I was still a single with my own money. I needed to hang out to maintain social life with other single. I need to buy shoes, dress, bag, etc to improve my performance. How could I interacted with other if my cloth was the same cloths when I was in university. I needed to buy books to improve my self. I needed to go to beauty clinic to treat my body. I needed to go to dentist to have behel treatment that I've started althought it was painful and very expensive, but i needed to improve my performance. I had to prepare some money to buy gift or souvenir for wedding invitation or prepared money if someone got accident. I had to help some people that needed my aid. All was worthy things.

Then I asked to all of my single fighter friends the same questions, "How much money did you save succesfully in the bank?"

They said, "ZERO...."

I also asked with someone who had salary more than me. They answered the same.

How could?!?

They said, "Well, its time to enjoy our life. If before we had no money for leisure due to we still depended on parents. Now its the right time to enjoy, before we get marry and have kids. After married, we will miss this time. How could we went for beauty treatment that needed hours and lot of money after married? If we had money, might be we had no free time. If we had free time might be we had no money".

One day my best friend asked me to lend her my money. The amount was so big. I was laughing to her and said, "Hahaha...how could you suspect me like that?".

Then I asked to other bestfriend to help her. But what she said, "My personal account was ZERO in balance. You may check to my saving books".

"How could?"

She repeated the same question, "How could?"

We both laughed.

But I still could find a single fighter who had big amount on their bank account. They were:

1. Rich girls who had rich parents. Their parents had prepared a lot of money in the bank with their name accounts and they could use that money anytime.
2. Actress or other professional.
3. or miserly girl, who didnt want to waste money. She always brought lunch from home or went home just for lunch. She wore same shoes-bag-dress since many years ago, or just borrowed that things from mom or her sisters, they looked older than their age. She never participated in charity or party. She always ignored invitations from friend to hang out. She prefered to copy book than bought it. She used her mom's cosmetics. She never went to beauty clinic. She didnt have family to share. Hahaha...what a pity you girl!
4. or She lived alone in the jungle.

Again I asked to ex-single fighter who has married and already had kids. Wow, she could manage money now. She could save money now. When I asked the tricks to her.

She said, "Well, I have no more time to go hang out with friends. My time full for my family. I always go home asap, no time for leisure with friends, no money gone. And I focus to my kids future. Now I use comparation for simple things. I prefer to buy milk than go to beauty clinic. SO just enjoy your time. You'll miss today, someday".

But when I asked how much saving to man (single fighter also). I could assume if;

1. They have a lot of saving, it means they are ready for marriage.
2. They have no saving, it means they are not ready for marriage.

But the theory couldnt be used if that man was a divorced from wealthy woman, actor, had millioner parents, etc.

Girls, please ask your boyfriends, "how much saving that they had?" to see their seriousness. Hahahaha....

P.S. Beloved, where should I start to saving?

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THE RIGHT TIME

"Today is the best gift from ALLAH. ALLAH gives you today, due to ALLAH knows its the right time. Just enjoy your life. Someday you'll miss today".

Mrs. Wiwid told me this good words for many times to advice me. Yeah it really energized me to continue my steps. Thanks Mrs. Wiwid.

Talk about 'the right time', we'll surely talk about destiny that had been decided by ALLAH. Although we've tried hard to get what have we dreamed, if the time has been right according to Allah's schedule we would never get it.

Last year, Babeh Armand lost hope. He was really impatient to get new job. He had applied since the begining of 2006. Yeah... for a man such him,looking for new job was not easy thing. Due to He had high position in previous company. Not much job vacancy for GM (I think so). He was very desperate on critical time. We all knew that he was insecure. Finally he got new job in the big US company, as soon after he resigned. The end of December 2006 he still got salary from SIG, January 2007 he got salary from recent company. Ofcourse with salary 'many times' from last salary.

Mr. Hafiz, my ex-manager. He applied many jobs, but no results. Until he felt extremely desperate due to he lived from pay check to pay check. Even He still needed debt to fulfill his cost living. He has 2kids and a wife who was full housewife. AFter He got sick and got medical treatment few days. Finally He got better job. On the right time (before he was getting crazy), he got job.

Mr. Denny, my ex-co worker (SIODP). After graduated from Magister Management UI, He desired to get marry soon. He applied some jobs. When he got announcement that SIG accepted him as their employee (MT), he was very happy. Although he was still hoping with a sharia bank that he had applied before (and also had passed last tests). Actually he prefered Sharia Bank than in SIG, due to he was a typical of good moslem. But Sharia Bank called him a day after he accepted SIG as the 1st career. First he felt disapointer, but behind he understood why Allah choose that for him. The salary at SIG almost twice than in SIG Bank. He thought, may be Allah knew that he needed alot of money to marry. He was getting enjoyed with new job in SIG. But after 4 months, He failed to continue his job in SIG. He was terriby disapointed. He couldnt imagine about the future life. He was really confused due to in the next couple month he would marry.

I tried to support him with my magic words, "Dont worry after this Allah prepared the better things. Never give up!!! Keep your intention to marry!".

Yeah, as soon after he got out from SIG. He got new job in logistic company which applied Islamic values on their business. It was really suitable for him. And he married, even his wife has been pregnant. Yeah on the right time, Allah gave him the best thing that he hadnt imagined before.

About my friend FINA who had been waiting for 8 years to marry. Although he had boy friend and family always offered her with their choice. FINA thought it would be longer due to the boy was not accepted by her family. But finally she married on age 30yrs old, the boy 34yrs old. May be it was the right time for them to marry.

About my friend Widi, she made dua for her husband future who could be her imam few years behind, but she focused on marriage 2 yrs behind. Even he made this year as her target year to marry. She decided to take new challenge. She resigned from previous job and moved to Sharia Bank. Then Allah sent her a man. That guy was her co-worker in previous office. They will marry 8th August 2007. That guy was not the 1st guy who proposed her, before they were 2. But they were still family. So this guy was the 1st outsider who came to her house for marriage's proposal. Yup, its the right time for Widi.

Two years ago, i decided to work in SIG due to my mom felt it was good for me. They interviewed me on Friday. It was the only interview schedule on Friday from many interview schedule. My mom always thinking that my lucky day is Friday, due to I was born on Friday. Friday is Islamic special day. And it was really my perfect time. When I was on SIG, I got so many surprises that couldnt measure by money. My books was launched here, I was on METRO TV& RRI radio for live interview, became popular, I met my magic moment there.

Until 2006, I felt I was in comfort zone. I thought it was my time to marry when I met the first guy who came to propose me islamically when I was ready enough to marry. He was an US. It mean we would need a lot of things to do. But I was not thinking about that last year. I was just thinking, I wanted to have husband and got out from this comfort zone. I thought living in abroad would be challenging. Even I'd planned to continue my MBA.

That time I was so sad and asked ALLAH why the plan was not going well. I was desperate, not only I was stuck in my job but also my marriage planning. Then my guardian angel came and that was my magic moment to made own business. Yeah for a while I could forget all the things that made me dizzy. But I didnt know why the business was not going well. I was getting confused. Then I applied job to 130 companies.

I made dua to ALLAH, "Ya ALLAH, dont let me stuck on this situation. No challenges, and no hubby. I'm afraid it would let me far away from you. Please let me out from this situation. If he is really my husband future, give me strong and patient to pass this. But please I dont want to stuck on this situation. The time is longer than the fact. I need something that make me busy. If I did busy thing, I could pass year easyly without feel as I was in waiting. I want to be busy girl before I have kids".

and I got good news. Metro TV was the answer of my dua. Why it came late? no, ofcourse not. Its the right time. and when I tried to find aswer why it happened. I got the answer. May be he will be my IMAM. Why?

1. I have passed professional time as soon after graduated from university at SIG.
2. I'm a novelist and have many readers who love me. Its one of many proof that ALLAH loves me, may be I havent had any husband who loves me but many people loves me.
3. Allah tried to inspire me, what should I do someday if i have to stay in abroad with kids. I could get money without leave house by writing.
4. Allah answered my dreams when I was kid to be popular.
5. I got my own money for fun and charity. I could do anything that I want. I could have beauty clinic. May be I couldnt have that chance after I married, because my focus will be for family. Allah gave me time to prepare my self (hehehe...)
6. By the time I was getting mature enough. I learned much how to manage my self. I was getting expert in cooking (I think so). I was not so egoist as before. I learned how to be patient and plan for everything totally.
7. I've learned that marriage is not the final stage. Its the begining of next life chapters. We'll meet many joys, sadness, laughing, crying, etc. I thought, wedding party is not necessary.
8. I've learned how to love someone for the sake of ALLAH. The only person who introduced me with this kind of love was my candidate. Even I was getting understand the meaning of Ikhlas, "If he was not mine may be ALLAH has prepared better guy for me....".
9. I've forgotton my past, and no place for another man except my hubby. Hehehe...although I had no real experiences in love before.
10. I learned how to make business. I met with some relation. Oneday, I'll be stronger in business to help my hubby.
11. I was getting understand about 'Prenuptial Wedding'. I learned much from Kompas Community regards Indonesian who lived in abroad or married with foreigner. I couldnt imagine if I married last year with lack of information.
12. I learned much about worldwide and many probabilities if I had to live in different countries, cultures, etc.
13. I have just known that to stay in US. US government usually checked our credit record. Hem, I think I'm succesfully maintain my credit record by using ANZ & Manhattan Credit Card. I think bank is getting in love with my performance. I used credit card as debit card.
14. I managed my network. I hope I could work in abroad. So I tried to meet with so many challenging works.
15. My recent work is the place that let me have access with International network. I hope i could work in VOA.
16. If before I depended on my spiritual advisor Widi, due to I had plenty time to disturb her. When I got new job, she married. Might be Allah knew that I would not have time to disturb her again on this job.
17. I have had a lot things to tell to my kids what have I done before I marry and have kids. And my kids will proudly tell every people whom they know, "My mom is best mom. She was a bachelor, novelist, enterpreuner, worked in shipping, worked on TV, good in cooking, pretty, kind, good moslemah, etc. My dad found her in Indonesia. My mom had reached most of her dreams before she married with my dad. and my dad is one of her dream. I'm surely they'll be good partner. They both of big dreamer. I'm proud heresitate their spirit. I want to be like them.......bla...bla...bla..."
18. bla...bla...bla...

I couldnt counting anymore. Because so much blessings that has ALLAH given to me. ALHAMDULILLAH, thanks to ALLAH.

This time I would to tell to all people who feel desperate, stuck, fail, God is not fair, etc.

"Dont worry be happy about your life. whether now you feel bad, desperate, fail, sad, miserable, etc. May be the right time hasnt come. By the time, all will be changed with good things, succesful, joys. Just do the best and wait until the right time is coming. Only ALLAH who knows when will the right time coming. Believe me, the right time will never come late. Enjoy your time!"

رَبَّنَا وَلاَ تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لاَ طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِ

Q.S Albaqarah (2:286) "........Our Lord do not impose upon us that which we have not the strength to bear......"

PS. I love you for the sake of ALLAH

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Gold Plated Masjid

This is the glorious symbol of Indonesia. Well, who said Indonesia poor country? Although 1 US$ = Rp 9,400, and many people in hunger here. But MASJID DIAN AL MAHRI was built in Indonesia. COuld you imagine how much it cost???

This gold-plated dome mosque is one of the most beautiful mosque in the Southeast Asian. It is located in Jalan Nurhasim, Meruyung, Limo-Depok. It has 5 gold-plated domes with the largest has 16 meters diameter and 25 meters height. This mosque stands in 100 hectare area meanwhile the mosque itself has 8.000 square meters area.

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REUNION & BRAZILIAN TURTLES

In University, I had 5 best friends. Name was Ariyanah, Irma, DJ, Dewi and Widi. We were best friends, even until now we are still have good relationship. Even their name also quoted in my 1st novel 'Surat Cinta Saiful Malook'.

Ariyanah was a tom boy (girl with masculine side hehehe...). Although she wore long heejab, but she was still funky. Sanguinist-Choleric. Sundanese girl.

Irma was the most diligent girl.She was perfect melancholic, she had scheduled life. She was the best graduated among us. She wore long heejab and she was so feminine. When we had to visit BADUY tribe in Banten, she kept wearing long skirt when we were hiking on the mountain. She never forgot to wear Umbrella, even in mountain. She was native Betawi.

DJ was the most tom boy. She wore short heejab. She was allergic with long skirt. She was coming from North SUmatera, with Batak accent. Her motto hard work-hard play.

Dewi was normal girl. She was dilligent. She wore long heejab. She was flegmatics person.

Widi was sanguinist-melancholic, feminine girl, active in many organization, Islamic teacher, etc. She bought UMI magazine, while we were still interested to ANNIDA

I was a big dreamer girl, enthusiastic, sanguinist-melancholic, loved to be point of interest, unique, etc.

And after 2.5 years we graduated from University, finally for the 1st time we had complete gathering on 16 - 17 August 2007. We spent a whole night&day together.

Ariyanah is working as call centre supervisor at Indosat (Telecommunication Company)

Irma works as senior call centre at Citibank

DJ works as call centre at Citibank (retention)

Dewi is an elementary teacher.

Widi is working in Sharia Bank (MUAMALAT).

That time we decided to keep turtles as our pet; 3 males (Ucok, Franklin, Takeshi) & 3 females (Nyai, Jasmine, Neng). They were cute brazilian turtles. Why we choosed turtles? because turtle has long age. It could live until hundred years. We wished our friendship will be everlasting till die do us part. Next meeting we will have conversation topic regards turtles.

DJ got UCOK and will prepare UCOK as husband for NENG (Widi). I got Jasmine for Franklin (Irma). Nyai belongs to Dewi for Takeshi (Ariyanah).

Innalillahi wainna ilaihi raaji'un. NYAI died at 21st August 2007. Takeshi lost his wife future.

P.S. Dewi how could you?!?

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LIFE COMPANION

Being a single on the age above 25 for a girl will add some problem that really makes stress for a girl. Yeah, actually its not only happen to girls but also boys, especially in Indonesia (or in Eastern Countries). They will meet with standardized question for that age, "When will you marry?". May be the 1st question will not really annoyed, but if the same questions must be repeated for many times and the questions also be added by comments,

"Why dont you marry?"

"Havent you met with the chosen prince?"

"Dont be choosy! If you dont want to spend a whole of life alone"

"Dont you want as your friends who have babies?"

"Career, money will not buy truly happiness"

bla...bla...bla...that made our (single community) ears became HOT

How could they asked such that? I dont think so its a part of attention (hehehhe....). Do you need the answer for all of that? Well, here I try to represent my 'single' friends.

If we havent married not because of we ignored the marriage, too much choosy, satisfied with our career in single status, etc. We havent married yet, because Allah thought that it is not the good time. Allah has prepared the prince, but it is not the right time to engage with marriage (on Allah's eyes). May be, Allah is trying to prepare us to be ready. If we havent accepted any proposal, not because we were too choosy. But they were not the prince that ALLAH prepared for us.

Oneday I asked to my friend who married last 2 months. She married on 30th yrs old with a man that she knew 9yrs ago.

I said to her, "If he finally be yours, why didnt you married last 9yrs ago. or at least you could marry 8yrs ago with him".

SHe answered, "How could I know he was mine. Although he was my best friend, but I thought it was impossible to marry with him. I thought I would marry with man that was proposed by my parents. Even the last minutes before I married with him, my mom still tried to persuade me".

"Then how could you know, he was your prince?"

She answered, "Many times did salat Istikharah finally I decided him".

From that case we know that the problem why that girl havent married was not because of She hadnt met the chosen prince. She had met with the chosen prince many years ago. But if ALLAH had decided the timing of their marriage, they couldnt married before the time.

I have another friend. She is my best friend Widi. She is also my spiritual advisor. When I was down, she was always behind me to support. So many tears and laughing that she saw from me. Many months ago, when both of us talked about life companion that hadnt come yet. Both of us missed a man that would be our Imam.

The conversations would be about:

"Why Allah hasnt sent a prince to us when we thought ready enough to welcome? A prince that could be our Imam to guide us to JANNAH"

"Was he going ashtray? should we gave our complete address to Allah?".

"I've done salatul hajat, was not enough?"

bla...bla...bla...

When I felt desperate, I called her just to express my feeling. And she would listen me patiently. And she was always adviced me to keep patient. She reminded me that Allah was not deaf, sleeping, etc. ALLAH listened our dua, appreciated our good efforts. Allah answered our prayer on 3 ways; If HE answered YES, the prayer would be granted soon. HE say NO, and HE would change with better things. HE say WAIT until the right time. Again Widi told me that might be the time was not right.

That time WIDI was working on IT company. She had co-worker Mr. X. Mr. X was also looking for wife. Widi introduced Mr. X to me. She desired to be mediator between me and Mr. X. But I ignored from the 1st. Even I lied to him that I had married with someone. Mr. X. stopped contact me.

Widi was a typical of good moslemah. She had never had special relationship with a man. She hold Islamic way, not to have BF outside marriage. Widi also followed the sunnah. She was joined Islamic party. She used her weekend to teach Islam. Although she was perfect, she had never behaved that she was the best. She was down-earth girl. Even, She never forced me to follow her way. She didnt meet any problem with my outstanding behaviour. She always supported me.

She said, "Be patient, Risma. You are good girl, Insha Allah will only get good man. Keep praying. Allah never sleep".

This year Widi is working in Sharia Bank. Finally her marriage is getting closer. WIthin 3 weeks, she would marry with Mr. X. Mr. X proposed her last week. Without any harmful relationship. Widi has never imagined, finally the chosen prince would be Mr. X. Mr. X was not ideal man for Widi. Even in my eyes, Mr. X was nothing for Widi. Widi was too perfect for Mr. X.

Yeah, the life companion is not only about the chosen prince who will be our Imam. Although we've met him few years ago, if the timing was not right. The marriage would never happened. Now the right time for them, Widi & Mr. X will marry 8th AUgust 2007, Insha Allah. May Allah bless their marriage.

P.S. Can I still disturb u, Wid?

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MAAK HET LEVEN NIET MOELIJKER DAN HET AL IS

"Slow down baby, take it easy and let it flow..."

The song lyrics from SHE (Indonesian girl band) reminded me with the words "Maak Het Leven Niet Moelijker Dan Het Al Is" which means of "Dont make this difficult life more difficult". Take it easy and let it flow. Does it really work for all occasions? not really. Well, I guarantee if you use this motto all the time. You'll never bother whatever that happens to you. Because you have no worry cant get what you want. Just let it flow...or just let it gone with the wind. 'GITU AJA KOK REPOT".

But I'm pretty sure, you'll stuck in your condition. Just take the destiny without trying to get better than before. All has been decided by ALLAH, so just accept it as your destiny. Hayaa....how could you say like that?

As long as I know, there are 2 types of destiny; QADHA and QADAR. QADHA is destiny that couldnt be changed by human, because it has been decided by ALLAH strictly e.g. birth, death and life partner. QADAR is choice's destiny. Allah has decided it with alternatives, e.g. we could be rich if we tried hard to get it, we could get good marks in subject if we studied hard. Life is choice. You could get whatever you want if you try to get it. You are what you think all day long.

I always thinking that the most reason why some people are fail or success in their life is MIND. Either its subsconscious or conscious mind. Yeah its true. I have funny story but it was a fact.

Tini was an office girl who worked in my previous company (SIG). I liked that woman. She was kind, honest, and so innocent. Her salary below 70 US$ per month, after discount. She was an outsource employee. So she didnt have any renumerations as direct employee could get. If Tini was an office girl (maid in office), her husband (NOPI) was a cleaning service employee in my company. He was also an outsource employee (KMA Company).

One day, our company finished the contract with KMA COmpany. Our company changed with ISS Company (Cleaning Service Company). NOPI lost his job. He was dying, due to he was an uneducated person. Even NOPI didnt have any elementary certificate. TINI with salary below 70 US$ should handle NOPI and her 5 months baby. Masha Allah, it was impossible. TINI asked me job references.

I asked her "what kind job that NOPI wanted?".

She answered, "Anykind about cleaning services. Because NOPI only had experiences in cleaning service for many years".

I admitted with his education background, almost impossible to get new job in outsourcing company. They need at least high school graduated. and NOPI was an uneducated person. But I gave her all address that I knew to apply new job.

Another week, I asked her, "Hows the result?"

She said, "none"

I asked, "How many application has he sent?"

She said, "two".

GOSH, its unworthy compare with my efforts to get new job by applying 130 good companies before I got this new job. Or compare with my ex-boss, a Dutch who got overseas MBA title with last job as GM. He applied 140 good companies before He got very good position in DUPONT.

But I said her, "dont worry as soon as possible, just apply as much as he could do!"

oneday my Indian friend, He is my business partner who has big Indian Resto in Jakarta asked me two employees. He needed chef assistant. And I soonly suggested NOPI. He trusted me, so he agreed with my suggestion. He promised to make some interview with NOPI asap.

I informed that to TINI. TINI informed to NOPI asap. But could you imagine what NOPI said? He said that He couldnt take that challenges due to he has no experiences in resto, he just simply wanted to get another cleaning service challenges due to he had only this experiences.

I shocked, "WHAT?!?"

Before I was getting angry, I said to him, "What are you trying to show up with your lack? Why dont you take that job. Its halaal and even you'll get better status there also better income. Do you know that might be I'm 100 times better than you, but I still needed to apply 130 companies and I havent got any responds. And do you know my ex-boss? before he got his job, he should applied to 140 companies. He graduated from overseas and hold MBA title. He could speak many languages better. And now, you tried to ignore good opportunity without some efforts just because you afraid couldnt handle it. Are you nuts? Then what will you do to support your family? How could u get money?". Then I was silent.

Next day, NOPI really came to that resto. He accepted that job. Yipee.........!!!

It was example of QADAR. Could you imagine Ih He didnt take that challenge? May be He would stuck as unemployment. Allah has prepared 2 choices for him. Take the challenge to work as chef Asistant or keep being unemployment until he get another job that would take long time. And on that destiny, ALLAH asked me to be agent.

I have another stories that will open your mind how subsconcious mind worked in your future life. Since kid, I loved to give my signature on my friends book. Until my friends were getting bother with me. I was disturbing alot them.

WHen they complained with my behaviour, I just said that one day I would be famous girl and all people would ask me to sign their books. Not only once time I said that, but for many times for sure. I said that with no doubt, although I didnt know what what would happen in the future.

And what happened after years. The dream came true. Finally, my signature has value. Now my friends and other readers are asking for my signature on their SCSM novel.

I said to my friends, "Well, now you are really need my signature. In the past you felt I disturbed you alot by signing your book".

My friends only said, "Well, your dream came true". With their smiles.

Since kid, I love to act as I was on TV and having some interview with journalist. Many years I prepared my self to be ready if someday I was invited to have live interview on TV and radio. I was acting in front of mirror, spoke as I was in formal interview.

And the dream came true. I was really invited by TV & radio for live interview. Masha Allah...

And many things that happens now are coming from DREAM. I just dreaming, trying and praying and all happens. Even some of better than I'd dreamed before. Alhamdulillah.........

I hate if someone told :

"I'm the most miserable people in the world".

"Allah has created me as poor and just accepted it as destiny".

" I cant afford to get it. Its impossible for me".

" Why should we study hard, if no job opportunity".

" Looking for job is difficult think if we dont have any references".

bla...bla...bla...

Stop it!!! If you are a moslem, better you check this verses

إِنَّ اللّهَ لاَيُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّى يُغَيِّرُواْ مَا بِأَنْفُسِهِمْ

Qs. Ar Ra'd (13:11) "surely Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change their own condition"

Yeah, LIFE is CHOICE. Allah still gives you the choice, except Birth, death and life companion. The result will depend on your efforts. ALthough the result is not depend on your dream, Allah has appreciate it. Nothing useless. even Allah will give you better than you want or change it with other joy. BELIEVE that!!!

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FINALLY

Masha Allah, finally I reach my dream.

Last week METRO TV called me for signing contract.

3rd September 2007, I'll working on METRO TV.

Yiipeee.........!!!

I couldnt imagine it before.

Last year they invited me to be their guest star for Breakfast Club, regarding my novel "SURAT CINTA SAIFUL MALOOK".

Now, I'm being a part of their team.

Well, I couldnt wait to work in new place.

And I'll be sure my another novel will coming out from that place.

Alhamdulillah....

C U There!

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Ya Allah, I really need you.

I know you listen all of my prayers.

But this time I really need 'miracles'.

The way out from here.

Ya Allah, you know me better than me.

Please...!!!

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Its a LOVE's STORY

Once upon a time, there were abstract objects that stayed in Small Island; LOVE, sadness, happiness, wealthy, beauty and etc. They lived together. However one day, storms came to the Small Island and sea water suddenly traveled by and sank the island.

All the Islanders tried to escape as soon as possible. LOVE really confused due to it could not swim and didn’t have the boat. LOVE stood in the coastal bank tried to look for help. In the meantime water increasingly rose wetted LOVE’s feet.

In the next couple minutes, LOVE saw ‘wealthy’ was paddling the boat.

“wealthy! wealthy!! help me please!!!”, LOVE shouted.

The wealthy said, “Ow! Sorry……..LOVE. I couldn’t bring you up if I don’t want this boat sank. Moreover there are no more places for you in my boat”. Then wealthy left LOVE alone quickly.

LOVE was very sad, but afterwards LOVE saw Happiness was coming through by boat.

“ Happiness…happiness! Please help me! “, shouted LOVE. But Happiness was too happy because he found the boat so it couldn’t hear LOVE's shouting. Now the water became as high as LOVE’s waist. LOVE was increasingly panicked.

Then LOVE saw the beauty was paddling its pretty boat.

“Beauty…beauty…please bring me up to your pretty boat!”, shouted LOVE.

“ NO WAY!!! Oh lOVE you are too wet and dirty. I worried you’ll contaminate my pretty boat”, Beauty answered.

It was really shocked LOVE. LOVE was very sad. LOVE began to cry sobbingly.

Meanwhile, LOVE saw the sadness came. “Sadness…sadness…please let me join with you there!”.

The sadness said, “ Sorry LOVE. I’m too sad right now. I want to be alone”. Sadness left LOVE. All went to nearest island with their boats. LOVE was the only on that island. LOVE lost hope.

LOVE felt water increasingly and would sink it.

At the critical time, suddenly LOVE heard the voice.
”LOVE…come on rose to my boat quickly!!!”.

LOVE turned out to the side of the voice came and rose to the boat quickly before the water sank it. In the closest island, the LOVE descended and the boat went as soon as possible. In the mean time, LOVE just realized that LOVE didn’t know who had helped.

LOVE immediately asked to the islander.

“It was TIME”, said the occupants.

“But why did TIME rescue me? Even my friends who recognized me well didn’t want to help me to pass the storms”, asked LOVE.

The occupants said, “because ONLY TIME THAT KNOWS HOW MUCH VALUES OF LOVE?”

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GIRL's SIGN

If i dont call you
[ Its because im waiting for you to call me ]

When i walk away from you mad
[ Follow me ]

When i stare at your mouth
[ Kiss me ]

When i push you or hit you
[ Grab me and dont let go ]

When i start cussing at you
[ Kiss me and tell me you love me ]

When im quiet
[ Ask me whats wrong ]

When i ignore you
[ Give me your attention ]

When i pull away
[ Pull me back ]

When you see me at my worst
[ Tell me im beautiful ]

When you see me start crying
[ Hold me and tell me everything will be alright ]

When you see me walking
[ Sneak up and hug my waist from behind ]

When im scared
[ Protect me ]

When i lay my head on your shoulder
[ Tilt my head up and kiss me ]

When i grab at your hands
[ Hold mine and play with my fingers ]

When i tease you
[ Tease me back and make me laugh ]

When i dont answer for a long time
[ reassure me that everything is okay ]

When i look at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up ]

When i say that i like you
[ I really do more than you could
understand ]

When i bump into you
[ bump into me back and make me laugh]

When i tell you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold]

When i look at you in your eyes
[ dont look away until i do]

When i miss you
[ im hurting inside ]

When you break my heart
[ the pain never really goes away.. ]

When i say its over
[ i still want you to be mine ]

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Good bye RASYID...!

Rasyid was a boy of Mbak Wiwit( my co-worker). His destiny made him to leave Risyad (his twin brother), mom & daddy. Due to some problem, Mbak WIwid had to give birth in 30th Weeks. The baby would be premature. The organ might be still incomplete. Risyad was strong enough than Rasyid.

Now Rasyid is still undersupervised doctor at RS. Bunda. He is staying inside incubator. May Allah, keep him!

P.S. Mbak Wiwit & husband. Be patient! Insha Allah Risyad will be better soon

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ONE. Give people more than the expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX.. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "Rahimakallah" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
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I DEADLY YEARN MY PAST...

Do you ever miss your past? About life episodes that has gone with the time. Some life experiences that you ignored but now you miss all of that. About your stupidity, enemies, friends, special friends, ptoblems, etc.

Ah now I'm missing some of them;

• My college time, when I was absent and asked my best friend to signing my presence list.
• My college time, when I booked the strategic place to listen lecturer.
• When I was taking bus Ciputat-Bogor and took a look of Parung views. The centre of prostitution. How was the society accepting prostitussion as normal profession. When I saw kids went home from masjid with their veil and Quran and kissed their mom's hand. Their mom wore sexy dress, made up herself to wait guest.
• Reading in campus library.
• Chatting with Saiful Malook
• Eating soto mie with Widi, DJ, Irma, Dewi, and Ari. Meanwhile we were dreaming about our bright future.
• Enjoyed my absent time with Sumiyati.
• My life as a teacher in bilingual pre-school e.g. : teaching, making display, conversation on lunch, singing, managed stage performance, etc.
• Lilis (my smartest student), Dinda (my strangest student), etc...
• My school principal who paid me Rp 1,050,000 for the 1st.
• Lanny, Ardia, Ida, bu Kukun, Mbak Titin, Bu Inti all of Cordova member...
• Embassy of Pakistan's family
• Pak Dedi Budiman Hakim, my theses councelor
• KKN at BOJONG CAE ; Abang, Fian, DJ, Desi, the villagers, ustad keparat, Dicky an other teams
• My admirers
• my relatives who had passed away
• Mas Surya, someone who gave me book "The Power of Unconscious Mind".
• etc

I miss all people who had made my life wonderful and colorful....But I dont want to repeat my time. A wise lady told me, "Whatever that happens now is the best. Allah gives that because HE sure that is best for you now. So why bother?"

Yeah.........I'm enjoying my time. Alhamdulillah...

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BEHEL

Its a hot gossip. Its been almost 3 months I wear BEHEL. Do you know whats the mean of BEHEL? Its teeth hedge. Iron wire, iron bracket and colorful rubber. It is one of orthopedic treatment to tidy the teeth up. My dentist suggested me to wear behel. I have disorder teeth, due to my small jaw. First I had never consider to wear that. It costs a lot of money. The price equal to motorcycle price. And it will be another cost each month for treatment. Hem........but I consider the result after 2 years. I will have beautiful teeth. Although most of my friends said that I have no problem with my teeth. But I felt I have to do it now before late.

Yeah...my life with behel has begined. Masha ALLAH, it was hurt. The dentist should pulled 4 teeths out. And I cant eat easyly with my wire & bracket. PAINFUL. Now I'm going to realize that beauty is painful.

BEHEL is not only a treatment. But an accessories. If you meet me, you'll see that my rubber color is suitable with my dress. Hehhe......keep FUNKY. I dont feel I'm such of BETTY LAFEA. I'm getting more funky as before with my behel (NARCIST......).

See you!!!

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CATERING

Our 1st catering order on 2nd June 2007 In Bogor. It was a wedding party of Haji Roesli's daughter. Seemed he was an executive member of PPP. The guests were some important person such as Governor of Jakarta Sutiyoso, Shihab, member of legislative board, etc. After this we got other orders. Ameen.

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REST IN PEACE

Name was FANNY. She was a little girl who lived near my house. She was raised up by traditonal family called BETAWI (a native of Jakarta). Actually, her family was a land owner. But by the time after her grand pa passed away. She was just a little girl from a simple BETAWI's family. Her mom is a teacher of Islamic Private School and her dad is an employee of NGO.

Three months behind, She was lying down in hospital. Doctor team on Fatmawati Hospital (Government hospital in South Jakarta) diagnosed that she had heart attack. After a month she was treated by hospital then finally she went home. But She couldnt playing as before. She had to take a rest.

After a week, again her healthy dropped. She was sent to centre hospital (RSCM). And the doctor said, she not only had heart disease but also LEVER and LEUKIMIA. Masha ALLAH. And day by day, she had to spend her life on bed under doctor & paramedic supervised. Her family had spent a lot of money for her. But we were her neighbor also helped her financially. Her mom's student, co worker and her dad's collegues. But the money was too much expensive. And I was sure that her parents also asked some helps for loan.

FANNY got her 1st chemotherapy. But everyday, she should got medicines and special injection. The doctor said, Fanny should be treated for 20 years to get well as before. Masha ALLAH, I couldnt imagine how much money should they paid for FANNY. There was a medicine with cost 1.8 million rupiahs per cc. What about pills, tablets, injections, hospital room, infus, etc???

Few days ago, Fanny asked her parents to bring all of her pictures to hospital. She asked permission to cut all of her picture by scissor. She begged with tears. Her parents finally allowed her to cut all of her documentation. Yeah, she didnt want her family became sad when she left the world forever.

Yesterday (18th June 2007), she passed away at 3 pm. Hen I came there, I saw that she had beautiful face. I imagined her as a fairy of paradise. She looked happy entering her new life.

ALLAH called her, because HE didnt want to see her miserable any longer. May be FANNY didnt want to be burden for her family. The cost for her 3 months was too expensive, and had made her family bancrupt. What about 20 years? No........Fanny was prefer to follow her angel. She went to a better place in Jannah. She didnt want to leave any miserable anymore to her beloved family.

Bye FANNY. We will always remember how pretty, funny and smart you were. I love you. Pass my best regards to your new friends.

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LOST???

One thing that made me feel not good few weeks behind, that I was getting realize that I was going to bancruptcy. I was afraid of being miserable. But when I cried to admid that I had given up, I worried that I have been COWARD. As long as I remember, I'm a bachelor of Agribusiness. I got A for business subjects. I'd never faced difficult to answer ESSAY. But why I was empty when I had to answer the reality. Uffhhhhh..........Masha Allah.

I suddenly realize that I have been wasting 6000 US$. But what have I gotten? I got loss, valuable experiences, spirit, soul, dynamic of business flow. I'd never gotten that issues on my SUBJECTS when I was still registered as a student of Agribusiness on Bogor Agricultural University.

Thanks to KOTLER who has taught me that product, price, place, promotion are the important things that a marketer (enterpreuner) should understand. But...why we just understand without do something. Hehehe....

Thanks to my friends FITRIA MOORCY who has pushed me alot to recognize my brand image. Hahahha....and I'm sure that she still didnt understand why I just cried when answer her simple question. Hahahahha.....I was lil' bit depressed....

But wallahi, I have to keep faith due to someone has trusted me...

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SCSM on PRO 2 FM (105.1 FM)

My publisher told me to come for live interview on Radio PRO 2 FM regarding "Surat Cinta Saiful Malook". So all the readers, admires, anyone. Please stay tune on PRO 2 FM 3 June 2007 at 4.30 pm. I will be there, Insha ALLAH.

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HELLO....!!!

Its been more than a month, I didnt write something here. There were so many stories that happened. Topsy turvy, up and down, happy and sad.

Its all about business progress. Finally I got catering order for wedding party, after long time lost hopes. I hope this is good sign for my progress.

Even this week, I almost worried cant pay my employees. I had no cash money. Almost money has been investing to equipments for my new cafe. Even, there is still some that I havent bought. Wuahhh........its really hard.

I met with Indian who has Indian Vegetarian Resto in Sarinah Thamrin. He is interested to order our vegetarian Kebab. Do you know how I made that Kebab? I just mixed all spices and vegetables with feeling then praying, "I hope it will not kill them" ahhahah. But I did it. They said, "Its delicious". WUahhhhh how glad were I?

But I got bad accident on my hand due to cooking. Both of my had got burn. Hikkkk...........I wish the fruits of my sacrifice will not useless. Insha ALLAH...But Insha ALLAH I'll keep fight.

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