MOUTH CONTROL

(picture by wikimouth.wikidot.com)

One of its disaster is that it looks very light but is very heavy, that is why Prophet Mohammad's laid much stress on taking care of it because more of the disasters come due to of the tongue only. Until tongue does not start, there is no quarrel or litigation with anybody, when it starts, every such things is there. Pious religious scholars have collected these disasters of tongue at one place after extracting them from Hadith. These disasters according to Imam Ghazali (Radhiyallaho anho) :

1. To talk about the thing which has no benefit.
2. To talk more than needed.
3. To talk about nonsense things like telling stories of women, transgressors or tyrants with interest.
4. To indulge in (useless) debates and discussions.
5. To quarrel.
6. To talk with formality and artificiality.
7. To talk obscene language and to abuse.
8. To use fool language.
9. To say La'anat.
10. To sing and to read such poetry which is against the Shari'ah.
11. To chat and laugh more.
12. To laugh at others in which others are looked down, upon.
13. To reveal some body's secret.
14. To make false promise.
15. To tell lie unless it is extremely necessary and nobody's right is being snatched, there it is allowed.
16. Ghibah (Backbiting/Gossips):- This becomes one's food and gives rise to many evils. many people say that they are speaking truth, how is it Ghibah? This doubt is silly as Geebat takes place only when it is true, otherwise it is slandering. Of course, if there is a possibility of some Deeni or worldly harm to someone, then it is allowed to reveal his condition.
17. Double faced:- To say yes to everyone and in every group.
18. Flattering someone at his face. If it is felt that the listener will not feel proud instead may get more inclined towards virtue, then there is no harm.
19. Not to take care of minute mistakes during conversation as people say "above is Allah and below you." This is a bad thing, in it there is sort of equation between the creator and the creature.
20. To ask Ulama such questions which are not related to you.

So whenever you have to say something, don't say it abruptly, first think for two or three seconds that whether this thing which I am going to say, may not displease my real owner Allah. If one is fully satisfied that it is not so, then one should say without hesitation but only whatever is needed (not more than that). If there is slightest doubt, then keep quite, Insha Allah, you will get saved from all the disasters of tongue easily. Then if you make mistake by saying inadvertently bad words, you should say ASTAGHFIRULLAHALADZIM (I ask Allah forgiveness). May Allah forgive you.

Then what do you do when somebody say bad words to you? E.g.; asshole, bastard, monkey, etc.

1. Don’t be sad or feel angry/ insulted! Why should angry if it’s not yours.

2. Say ASTAGHFIRULLAHALADZIM and Smile.

3. Time to pray and lets see & wait your dua will be granted as soon as possible. Because Allah has guaranteed will grant all dua of people who helpless/ sad/ desperate/ hurt/ insulted/ sick/ etc.

Is He [not best] who responds to the desperate one when he calls upon Him and removes evil and makes you inheritors of the earth? Is there a deity with Allah? Little do you remember. [An-Naml (The Ant) 27:62]

I always feel happy when people try to make me sad/angry. It means I’ll have the best opportunity to ask something from Allah. The more people try to insult me, Insha Allah, I’ll be happier, because Allah will make me happy.

I’ll not reply what people do badly to me with the same think. If people say something bad to me, I’ll never ever reply with the same things.

Do you know a pot? If we pour tea-water into the pot, the pot will only pour out the tea water. If we pour coffee-water into the pot, the pot will only pour out the coffee water. If we pour pure-water into the pot, the pot will only pour out the pure-water. And if we pour dirty water into the pot, the pot will only pour out the dirty water.

If your mouth only can say bad things, means inside your heart only bad/dirty things as you say. Whatever that you say will measure the quality of your personality. Bad people will only say bad things. Good people will only say good things.
So if people say something bad to me, I prefer to smile. If I can I will say thanks to him/her who say that to me. Means he/she has gives me very good opportunity to let my prayer (dua) be granted by Allah.

4. Pray for them who say something bad to you or spread bad gossips to you. “May Allah bless you….”. Insha Allah, angels will pray the same for us.
Islam is Rahmatan Lil ‘Alamin (Blessing for all). So as a muslim you should spread peaceful life to all (other people, animals, trees, etc).


P.S. Alhamdulillah I’m the happiest woman in the world.
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THE BEST ATTITUDES TO FACE CALAMITY

Calamity means of A state or time of distress or misfortune; misery. Any great misfortune or cause of misery; -- generally applied to events or disasters which produce extensive evil, either to communities or individuals (thinkexist.com).

An event that brings terrible loss, lasting distress, or severe affliction; a disaster: A hurricane would be a calamity for this low-lying coastal region. Dire distress resulting from loss or tragedy. (thefreedictionary.com)

Then how we have to face calamity?

1. Believe whatever that happens in this world because of Allah’s wills.
Allah created us from mixed drops of male and female sexual discharge (mom & dad), then we were born to the world with specific sex, then Allah gives us the choices of life (education, career, work, etc), then we die. Allah gives us air to breath, water to drink, food to eat, perfect body, property-assets-good career after we makes some efforts to get it, a lovely husband/wife, happiness, cute babies, etc. Allah just lends us for a while, so Allah may take it back anytime.
The believer who affirms the Oneness of Allaah (Tawheed) knows that everything happens by the decree of Allaah; what Allaah wills happens and what He does not will does not happen; there is nothing that can block the will of Allaah from being executed in His creation. Thus the heart of the believer who affirms the Oneness of Allaah is at rest, and he knows that there is no room for regret or grief in his life, because the command of Allaah preceded (the event) and His will is executed.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves but it is inscribed in the Book of Decrees (Al Lawh Al Mahfooz) before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allaah.
23. In order that you may not grieve at the things over that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you. And Allaah likes not prideful boasters”
[al-Hadeed 57:22-23]
“Say: ‘Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allaah has ordained for us. He is our Mawlaa (Lord, Helper and Protector).’ And in Allaah let the believers put their trust”
[al-Tawbah 9:51]

2. Be Patient
We should understand that Allah (swt) may test us with various calamities. We sometimes feel depress and sad in these situations and wonder why Allah (swt) allow us to go through these calamities.

Allah (swt) says in the Quran that which means:

“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test).” [Quran, Al-Ankaboot (The Spider) 29:2-3]
“Do you think that you will enter Paradise before Allah tests those of you who fought (in His Cause) and (also) tests those who are As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.)?” [Quran, Al-Imran (The Family of Imran) 3:142]
“You shall certainly be tried and tested in your wealth and properties and in your personal selves, and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you from those who received the Scripture before you (Jews and Christians) and from those who ascribe partners to Allah, but if you persevere patiently, and become Al-Muttaqun (the pious ) then verily, that will be a determining factor in all affairs, and that is from the great matters.” [Quran, Al-Imran (The Family of Imran) 3:186]
“Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil) ……”[Quran, Al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:155]
“Everyone is going to taste death, and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good, and to Us you will be returned.……”[Quran, Al-Anbiya (The Prophets) 21:35]
When we are in the middle of a calamity we should always remember Allah (swt) promise us that he will not burden us with more than we have the strength to bear.
“Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. “[Quran, Al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:286].
Never ever think that other people are not tested as we have had! Every single man/woman in the world must be tested, but with different proportion depend on their capacity. If you are tested as your friend/neighbor/brother/sister had, you must be can’t bear to handle it. And if they are tested as what you had, they must be can’t bear to handle it. If you don’t believe, spend your little time to have in-depth interview with your best friend about this. You’ll be so lucky being you. And will never think again that ‘Your neighbor grass is always greener than your own grass.”.

3. Try to understand there is something behind the calamity.
How? You can make a contemplation by yourself. Calamity is created to remind us and as an instructive admonition for whoever believe it. Calamity is created to train us to be tough and strong to face this life. Calamity is created to test us before we pass to the next level.
As a student of 5th grade, they need to pass difficult test before they enter to the next grade. It will always happen in life. Allah will test you with more and more difficult test depends on your capacity. But Allah will not burden you beyond your scope.
If you think that your calamity now is more difficult than before, means you are in higher level now. Do you think an 8th grade student will be tested the same as in 5th grade??? NO WAY. Your capacity now and before is totally different. I’m pretty sure you’ll not feel challenged do the same test as you did before. Then what for you have spent much time to get more lessons if you will only be tested as you did before when you had only less-lessons.
“ Verily, along with every hardship is relief “ [Quran, Al Insyirah (The Opening Forth) 94:6]
There will be happiness after sorrow. And when you’ve passed your calamity with big heart you’ll think how stupid you were crying for the simple test.
Read the Stories in the Quran and see how the Messengers, Prophets and other Pious Muslims and their Companions showed faith in Allah during extreme hardship and calamities. It may make us feel better and maintain complete faith in Allah SWT.

4. Keep trying for best. Never give up!
When you are tested with calamity, keep trying to find the solution. Don’t waste your time just being sad and crying all the time. But move forward to face the reality and keep trying for best.

“……Verily, Allah will not change the (good) condition of people as long as they don’t change their state (of goodness) themselves….” [Quran, Ar Ra’d (The Thunder) 13: 11]

Allah appreciates our efforts. There is no impossible if we try hard to reach our dreams/goals. You are what you think all day long. Keep trying, praying and let Allah decide the best for our life.

5. Remember Allah in abundance

By remembering Allah, The only GOD who creates us, world, flora & fauna, etc. Our heart will be comfort. Allah just lends (property, life, career, husband/wife, kids, etc) us for a while, so Allah may take it back anytime.

“….Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts finds rest.” [Quran, Ar Ra’d (The Thunder) 13:28]

“Therefore remember Me (by praying, glorifying, etc.). I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favours on you) and never be ungrateful to Me.” [Quran, Al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:152]

And seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer) and truly it is extremely heavy and hard except for the true believers in Allah. (They are those) who are certain that they are going to meet their Lord, and that unto Him they are going to return. [Quran, Al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2:45-46]

6. TAUBAT, ask repentance.
A believer is sometimes punished with afflictions because of some sins that he had committed

“ And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much” [Quran, Ash Shura (The Consultation) 42:30]

Well, now time for us to try to remember what we have done so we face this calamity?

There must be a cause of happening. For example big flood, there must be some irresponsible people who threw up the garbage not in right place, built house/building in water-absorption area.bla…..bla….

7. KEEP ISTIQAMAH!

The literal meaning of Istiqamah : to go straight into the right direction, acting rightly, allowing no deviation. It is derived from the stem "Qiyyam", which implies the continuity of doing something, following up with it and making sure that it is done in the right way and there is neither deviation nor swerving.
The term has been used by the Qur'an in many verses. Allah the Almighty says:
"Therefore, stand firm (on the straight path) as you are commanded and those who turn in repentance with you. And do not transgress, for He (Allah) sees well all that you do."
[Surah Hud (11): ayat 112]
Allah will always with us. Why should we afraid??? Remember whatever that happens in this world because of Allah wills.

P.S. Alhamdulillah I'm the happiest woman in the world :-)
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