Thursday, November 30, 2006

Etiquettes of ISLAMIC marriage and wedding



nikah3 nikah


1. Kindness toward your wife when you wish to enter into her

It is desirable, when one goes into his wife on his wedding night, to show her kindness, such as presenting her with something to drink, etc. This is found in the hadith narrated by Asmaa' bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: "I beautified 'As'ishah for Allaah's Messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. Then, he offered it to 'Aa'ishah, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I scolded her and said to her: "Take from the hand of the Prophet."

She then took it and drank some. Then, the Prophet said to her, "Give some to your companion." At that point,

I said: "O Messenger of Allaah, rather take it yourself and drink, and then give it to me from your hand."

He took it, drank some, and then offered it to me. I sat down and put it on my kness. Then, I began rotating it and following it with my lips in order that I might hit the spot from which the Prophet had drunk.

Then, the Prophet said about some women who were there with me: "Give them some." But,

they said: "We don't want it." (ie. we are not hungry).
The Prophet said: "Do not combine hunger and fibbing!" [Ahmad and al-Humaidi. Ahmad reports it with 2 isnaads - one of which supports the other, and it is supported...]"

2. Placing your hands on your wife's head and praying for her

The husband should, at the time of consummating the marriage with his wife or before that, place his hand on the front part of her head, mention the name of Allah Most High, and pray for Allah's blessings.

As in the statement of the Prophet: "When any of you marries a woman ... he should hold her forelock, mention Allah Most High, and pray for His blessings saying: "O Allaah, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You have created her, and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and the evil with which You have created her."
{Allaahumma innee as'aluka min khairiha wa khairi maa jabaltaha 'alaihi wa a'oodhubika min sharriha wa sharri maa jabaltaha 'alaihi}
[Aboo Dawood and others. Al-Bukhari in "Af'aalul-'Ibaad", Aboo Dawood, Ibn Majah, al-Haakim, al-Baihaqee and Aboo Ya'laa with hasan isnaad ...]


3. The praying of husband and wife together

It is desirable for the husband and wife to pray 2 rakaat together on their wedding night. This has been narrated from the earliest generation of Muslims, as in the following 2 narrations:

First: On the authority of Abu Sa'eed Mawla Abu Asyad who said: "I got married while I was a slave. I invited a number of the companions of the Prophet, among them was Ibn Mas'ood, Abu Dharr and Hudhaifa.
When the prayer was called, Abu Dharr began to step forward when the others said to him: 'No!'

He said: 'Is it so?'

And they said: 'Yes.'

Then, I stepped forward and led the prayer though I was a slave possessed. They taught me, saying: 'When your wife comes to you, pray 2 rakaat. Then, ask Allaah for the good of that which has come to you, and seek refuge in Him from its evil. Then it is up to you and it is up to your wife.'" [Ibn Abi Shaibah and 'Abdur-Razzaaq]

Second: On the authority of Shaqeeq who said: "A man named Abu Hareez came and said: 'I have married a young girl, and I am afraid that she will despise me.' '

Abdullah ibn Mas'ood said to him: "Verily, closeness is from Allaah, and hatred is from Shaitaan, who wishes to make despicable that which Allaah has allowed. So, when your wife comes to you, tell her to pray behind you 2 rakaat.'"

In another version of the same story, "'Abdullah went on to say: 'And say: 'O Allah give Your blessings on me in my wife, and to her in me. O Allaah join us together as long as You join us in good, and split us apart if You send to us that which is better.'" [Ibn Abi Shaibah and at-Tabaraani and 'Abdur-Razzaaq: Saheeh].


4. What to say at the time of making Love

When a Muslim man is about to enter his wife, he should always say first:

Bismillahi, Allahumma jannibnaa ash-shaitaan, wa jannib
ash-shaitaan maa razaqtanna

[In the name of Allah, O Allah, keep us away from the devil, and keep the
devil away from that which You may grant us (ie. offspring).]


About this, the Prophet said: "After that, if Allah decrees that they will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child". [al-Bukharee][1]

FOOTNOTE:


[Some Scholars say that children are disobedient to their parents usually because the parents forget/forgot to say the above duaa before having sex. Ed. of Salaf-us-Salih Page]

5. How he should come to her

It is allowed for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes - from behind or from the front. About this Allaah revealed the following verse:


"Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth
when or how ye will"
[al-Baqarah 2:223]

There are also various hadith on this subject, of which I will give only 2:


On the authority of Jaabir who said: "The Jews used to say that if a man entered his wife in the vagina but from behind, their child would be cross-eyed! Then Allaah revealed the verse: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223].

The Prophet said : "From the front or the back, as long as it is in the vagina". [Al-Bukharee and Muslim]

On the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas who said: "The Ansaar, who had been polytheists, lived with the Jews, who were people of the book. The former viewed the latter as being superior to them in knowledge, and used to follow their example in many things. The people of the book would only make love to their wives from the side, this being the most modest way for the woman, and the Ansaar had followed their example in that. These people from the Quraish, on the other hand, used to expose their women in an uncomely manner. They took pleasure in them from the front, from the back, or laid out flat. When the Makkans came to al-Madeenah at the time of the Hijrah, one of them married a woman from among the Ansaar, and began doing that with her.

She disapproved of it and told him: "We used only to be approached from the side, so do that or stay away from me!"

This dispute became very serious until it reached the ears of the Prophet. So Allaah, revealed the verse: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you, so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223] (ie. from the front, the back, or laid out flat).

What is meant here is the entry which produces children." [Aboo Dawood, al-Haakim and others: Hasan isnaad and is supported].


6. The Prohibition of Sodomy

It is forbidden for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her anus. This is understood from the verse quoted above (i.e. since a "planting ground" can only refer to a place where something might grow), and from the narrations cited above. There are also other hadith on the subject, among them:


First: On the authority of Umm Salama who said: "When the Muhajireen came to Ansaar at al-Madeenah, some of them married women from the Ansaar. The women of the Muhajireen used to lie on their faces (during intercourse), while the women of the Ansaar never did it that way. Then, one of the men of the Muhajireen wanted his wife to do that. She refused until such time as she could ask the Prophet about it. She went to the Prophet but was embarassed to ask the question, adn so Umm Salama asked him. Then the verse was revealed which says: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223].
The Prophet> said: "No! (not any way you wish) Except in one opening! (ie. the vagina)". [Ahmad, at-Tirmidhee and others : Saheeh]

Second: On the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas who said: "'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab came to the Prophet and said: 'O Messenger of Allaah, I am destroyed!'

The Prophet asked: 'And what has destroyed you, O 'Umar?' '

Umar said: `I turned my mount around last night.' (An expression which means he has sexual intercourse with his wife penetrating the vagina while mounting her from the rear.)

The Prophet gave him no answer and when the revelation came and the verse was revealed which says: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223]

and the Prophet said: "From the front and from the back, just beware of her anus and her menses". [an-Nasaa'ee in "`Ishratun-Nisaa" with hasan isnaad, at-Tirmidhee and others].

Third: On the authority of Khuzaima ibn Thaabit who said: "A man asked the Prophet about entering women in the rear, or the entering by a man of his wife in her rear, and the Prohet answered: `Halaal (ie. permissible).' When the man turned to leave, the Prophet called him or ordered for him to be called back and said : "What did you say? In which of the 2 openings did you mean? If what you meant was from her rear and in her vagina, then yes. But if what you meant was from her rear and in her anus, then no. Verily Allaah is not ashamed of the truth - do not enter your wives in their anuses!" [as-Shaafi, al-Baihaqi and others: Saheeh]

Fourth: "Allaah does not look at one who comes to his wife in her anus". [an-Nasaa'ee: Hasan isnaad and supported in "al-'Ishrah"; at-Tirmidhee and Ibn Hibbaan].

Fifth: "Cursed are those who come to their wives in their anuses." [Aboo Dawood, Ahmad and others with hasan isnaad and is supported].

Sixth: "Whoever has sexual intercourse with a mentruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad. [Aboo Dawood, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh].

7. Making Wudhuu' between 2 acts with one's wife

When a Muslim man has had sexual intercourse with his wife in the legal manner and then wishes to return another time, he should first perform wudhuu', based on the statement of the Prophet : "When one of you comes to his wife and then wishes to return another time, let him perform wudhuu' between the 2 times (In another version, the same wudhuu' which he performs for prayer) for verily, it will invigorate his return."[Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaibah and others].


8. Bathing is preferable

Bathing, however, is preferable to merely making wudhuu' in such situations. Abu Raafi' narrates: "That the Prophet made the rounds of all his wives one night, bathing in the house of each one. He (i.e. the narrator) asked the Prophet: "Couldn't you have just bathed once (i.e. at the end)?

The Prophet answered : "This way is purer, cleaner and better". [Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa'ee: Hasan in "al-'Ishrah", and others].


9. The Bathing of Husband and Wife together

It is permissible for the husband and wife to bath together in the same place even though he sees her private parts, and she sees his. This is established by a number of authentic hadith, among them:


On the authority of 'Aa'ishah (radiallahu anha) who said: "I used to bathe with the Prophet from a single container of water which was placed between us such that our hands collided inside it. He used to race me such that I would say: `Leave some for me, leave some for me!'
She added: `We were in a state of Janaba (i.e. the state of having slept together).'"[Al-Bukharee and Muslim].

On the authority of Mu'aawiya ibn Haida, who said: "I said: `O Messenger of Allaah, which of our nakedness is allowed, and of which must we beware?'

The Prophet answered, "Guard your nakedness excpet from your wife or those whom your right hand possesses." (So it is permissible for both spouses to look at and touch the body of his or her companion even the private parts).

He said: `O Messenger of Allah, what about if the relatives live together with each other?'

The Prophet answered : "If you can make sure that no one ever sees your nakedness, then do so."

He said: `O Messenger of Allah, what about when one is alone?'

The Prophet said: "Allah is more deserving of your modesty than are the people"."[Ahmad, Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh].

10. Making Wudhuu' after Sex and before Sleeping

It is best for husband and wife not to sleep after having sex until they first perform wudhuu'. There are various hadith about this, among them:

First: On the authority of 'Aa'shah who said: "Whenever the Prophet wished to sleep or eat while in a state of Janaba (i.e. after having sex and before bathing), he would wash his private parts and perform wudhuu' as for prayer." [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim].

Second: On the authority of Ibn 'Umar who said: "O Messenger of Allah, should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?"

The Prophet answered: "Yes, after making wudhuu." [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim].

In another version: "Perform wudhuu' and wash your private parts, and then sleep." [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim].

And, in another version: "Yes, you can perform wudhuu', sleep, and bathe whenever you want." [Muslim and al-Baihaqi].

And, in still another version: "Yes, and perform wudhuu' if you wish." (This last version proves that this wudhuu' is not obligatory.) [Ibn Khuzima and Ibn Hibban: Saheeh].

Third: On the authority of 'Ammaar ibn Yaasir, the Prophet said: "There are three which the angels will never approach: The corpse of a disbeliever; a man who wears perfume of women; and, one who has had sex until he performs wudhuu'." [Abu Dawood, Ahmad and others: Hasan].

11. The Ruling of this Wudhuu'

This wudhuu' is not obligatory, but is very highly and definitely commendable. This (i.e. its not being obligatory) is based on the hadith narrated by 'Umar in which he asked the Prophet: "Should we go to sleep in a state of janaba?" To which

the Prophet answered: "Yes, and perform wudhuu' if you wish." [Ibn Hibbaan: Saheeh].

This is also supported by other hadith, among them a hadith narrated by 'Aa'ishah who said: "The Prophet used to sleep in a state of janaba without having touched water, until he would get up later and bathe." [Ibn Abi Shaiba, at-Tirmidhee, Abu Daawood and others: Saheeh].

In another version narrated by 'Aa'ishah , she said: ""He used to spend the night in a state of janaba until Bilal came in the morning to make the adhaan. Then, he would get up, bathe while I looked at the water dripping from his head, and go out. Then, I would hear his voice in the Fajr prayer. Then, he would remain fasting." Mutarrif said: "I said to Aamir: In the month of Ramadhaan?"

He said: "Yes, in Ramadhaan and in other than Ramadhaan." [Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad and others: Saheeh].


12. Making Tayammum in a state of Janaba instead of Wudhuu'

It is also permissible to make Tayammum sometimes instead of wudhuu' before sleeping. This is based on a hadith of 'Aa'ishah in which she said: "When the Prophet was in a state of janaba and wished to sleep, he used to make wudhuu' or Tayammum." [Al-Baihaqi: Hasan]


13. Bathing before Sleeping is Perferable

Bathing however, is perferable to any of the above-mentioned possibilities as is clear in the hadith of `Abullaah ibn Qais who said: "I asked 'Ai'ishah : "What did the Prophet do when in a state of janaba? Did he bathe before sleeping or sleep before bathing?"

She answered: "He did all of those things. Sometimes he bathe and then slept. And sometimes he performed wudhuu' and then slept."

I said: "Praise be to Allah who made things flexible."[Muslim, Ahmad and Abu `Auwaana].


14. The Prohibition of sex when She is Menstruating

It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. This is clear in the following verse of the Qur'an:


"They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: They
are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in
their courses, and do not approach them until they are
clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may
approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for
you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him
constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure
and clean."
[Al-Baqarah, 2:222]

There are also hadith about this, among them:

First: "Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or a woman in her anus, or approaches a soothsayer and believes what he is told has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad."

Second: On the authority of Anas ibn Malik, who said: "When one of their women has their period, the Jews used to put her out of the house, and they would not eat, drink, or sleep with her in the house. The Prophet was asked about this, and Allaah revealed the verse:

"They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: They are a
hurt and a pollution: so keep away from women in their courses, ...
Then the

Prophet said: "Be with them in the house, and do everything except for intercourse itself."

The Jews said: "This man wants to leave nothing which we do without doing something different."

Then, Asyad ibn Hudair said: "O Messenger of Allah, verily the Jews says such-and-such, shoudl we not then have sexual intercourse during menstruation?"

The Prophet's face changed such that they thought that he was enraged with them, so they left. As they were coming out, they saw a gift of milk being brought to the Prophet. The Prophet then sent someone after them to give them a drink of milk, so they felt that he was not actually angry with them." [Muslim, Abu 'Auwaana and Abu Daawood].


15. The Penitence of One who Has Sex during Menses

Whoever is overcome by desire and has sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating and before she becomes clean must give the value of one dinar's weight of gold or about 4.25 grams (4.2315 to be more precise), or half that amount. This is based on a hadith narrated by 'Abdullaah ibn 'Abbaas from the Prophet in relation to one who enters his wife while she is on her period as follows: "Let him give one dinar in charity, or one half dinar." [At-Tirmidhee, Abu Dawood, At-Tabaraani and others: Saheeh].


16. What is Permissible when She is on her Periods

It is allowed for him to enjoy pleasure with his wife in any way except for her private parts when she is on her period. There are several hadiths about this:

First: "and do everything except intercourse itself." [Muslim, Abu 'Auwaana and Aboo Daawood]

Second: On the authority of 'Aa'ishah who said: "When we were on our periods, the Prophet used to order us to put on a waist cloth that her husband can then lie with her." One time she said: "... her husband can then fondle and caress her." [al-Bukhaaree, Muslims and others].

Third: On the authority of one of the wives of the Prophet who said: "When the Prophet wanted something from one of his wives who was on her period, he put a cloth over her private parts, and then did whatever he wanted." [Abo Daawood: Saheeh]


17. When is it Allowed to resume Sexual Activity after Menses?

When she becomes clean of any menstrual blood, and the flow stops completely, it is allowed for them to resume sexual activity after she washes the place where the blood had been, or performs wudhuu', or takes a complete bath. Whichever of these three alternatives she does makes it allowed for them to resume sexual activity, based on Allaah's statement in the Qur'an:


"But when they have purified themselves, ye may
approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you
by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him
constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean."
[Al-Baqarah 2:222]

This is the position of Ibn Hazm, 'Ataa, Qatadah, al-Awzaa'ee and Daawud az-Zaahiree and of Mujaahid: as Ibn Hazm says: "All three of these are a purification - so whichever of them she uses after the cessation of her periods, then she is lawful for her husband."

The same term is used to mean washing the private parts in the Aayah revealed concerning the people of Qubaa:


"In it are men who love to be purified; and Allah loves
those who make themselves pure."
[at-Tawbah 9:108]

There is nothing here in the Aayah however, or in the Sunnah, to restrict the Aayah in question to any of the three meanings - and to do so requires a further proof.


18. The Lawfulness of Coitus Interruptus

(Withdrawl of the penis from the vagina at the time of ejaculation with the purpose of avoiding impregnation. This can be done only with the permission of one's wife).

It is allowed for a Muslim man to practise coitus interruptus with his wife. There are several hadith about this:

First: On the authority of Jaabir who said: "We were practising coitus interruptus, and the Qur'an was being revealed." [al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]. In another version,

he said: "We used to practise coitus interruptus in the lifetime of the Prophet. This reached the Prophet, and he did not prohibit us from doing it." [Muslim, an-Nasaa'ee and at-Tirmidhee].

Second: On the authority of Abu Sa'eed al-Khudhriy, who said: "A man came to the Prophet and said: "I have a young girl (right-hand possession), and I practise coitus interruptus with her. I want that which men want, but the Jews claim that coitus interruptus is minor infanticide."

The Prophet said: "The Jews have lied, the Jews have lied. If Allaah wished to create a child, you would not be able to prevent it." [An-Naasaa'ee in al-'Ishrah: Abu Dawood and others: Saheeh].

Third: On the authority of Jaabir, a man came to the Prophet and said: "I have a slave girl who serves us and waters our date trees. Sometimes I go to her, but I dislike that she should become pregnant by me".

The Prophet said: "use coitus interruptus if you like, but whatever has been ordained for her will come."
After some time, the man again came to the Prophet and said: "She has become pregnant!"

The Prophettold him: "I told you that whatever has been ordained for her will come." [Muslim, Abu Dawood and others].

19. It is Preferrable not to Practice Coitus Interruptus.

Not practising coitus interruptus is preferable for a number of reasons:

First: It is harmful for the woman, since it reduces her pleasure by cutting it short. If she agrees to it, it still contains the following negetive points.

Second: It negates part of the purpose of marriage which is enlarging the Muslim nation through offspring, as in the statement of the Prophet: "Marry the loving and fertile, for I will compete with the other Prophets with the number of my followers." [Abu Dawood, an-Nasaa'ee and others: Saheeh].
This is why the Prophet once referred to it as "minor infanticide" (and not because it is forbidden as infanticide is forbidden) when asked about it saying: "That is minor infanticide". [Muslim, Ahmad and al-Baihaqi].
For this was preferable in the hadith narrated by Abu Sa'eed al-Khudhriy saying: "Coitus Interruptus was mentioned in the presence of the Prophet and he said: "Why would one of you do that? (note he did not say "let none of you do that")Allah is the Creator of every single soul." [Muslim].

In another version, he said: "You act and you act. There are no people destined to be from now until the day of Qiyama but that all of them will be." [Muslim]


20. What the two Spouses should Intend with their Marriage

Both spouses should enter into marriage with the following intentions: freeing themselves of unfulfilled sexual desires, and protecting themselves from falling into that which Allaah has forbidden (i.e. adultery and fornication). What's more, a reward as the reward for sadaqa (voluntary giving of charity) is recorded for them every time they have sex.

This is based on the following hadith of the Prohpet narrated by Abu Dharr: "Some of the companions of the Prophet said to him: 'O Messenger of Allaah, the affluent among us have taken the rewards (of the hereafter)! They pray as we pray, fast as we fast, and then they give charity from the surplus of their wealth!"

The Prophet said: "Did Allaah not make for you that from which you can give sadaqa? Verily for every time you say Subhannallah (Exalted is Allah) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Allahuakbar (Allah is Most Great) there is a sadaqa, and for every time you say Al-Hamdulillah (Praise is to Allah) there is sadaqa, and in every act of enjoining what is right there is sadaqa, and in every act of forbidding what is wrong there is a sadaqa, and in your sexual relations there is a sadaqa."

The Companions said: "O Messenger of Allaah , is there a reward for one of us when he satisfies his sexual desire?"

The Prophet said: "Don't you see, if he had satisfied it with the forbidden, would there not have been a sin upon him?"

They said: "Why, yes! He said: "In the same way, when he satisfies it with that which is lawful, there is for him in that a reward." [Muslim, an-Nasaa'ee in al-'Ishrah, and Ahamd].


21. What he should do the Morning After His Wedding Night

It is desireable for the husband to go to his relatives who came to visit him in his house, on the following morning, to give them greetings and pray for them. It is also desireable for them to do likewise for him, as in the following hadith narrated by Anas : "The Messenger of Allaah gave a feast on the morning of his wedding night with Zainab, at which he fed the Muslims to satisfaction on bread and meat. Then, he went out to the Mothers of the Believers (i.e. to his other wives), gave them greetings and prayed for them, which they returned in kind. This is the way he used to do on the morning after a wedding night." [Ibn Sa'd and an-Nasaa'ee: Saheeh].

22. The House must have a Place for Bathing
The married couple must have a place to bathe in their house, and the husband must not allow his wife to go to the public bath houses. This is forbidden, and there are various hadith about it, among them:

First: On the authority of Jaabir who said: "The Prophet said: "Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not allow his wife to go to the Public baths. Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not go to the baths except with a waist-cloth. And whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him never sit at a table at which intoxicants are being circulated." [Al-Haakim, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh]

Second: On the authority of Umm ad-Dardaa' who said: "I came out of the public bath and I met Allaah's Messenger who said to me: 'From where have you come O Umm Dardaa'?'
I said: 'From the baths'.
Then he said: "By the One in whose hand is my soul, every woman who removes her clothes anywhere except the house of one of her mothers has torn down all that veils her before ar-Rahman." [Ahmad : Saheeh]

Third: On the authority of Abu al-Maleeh who said: "Some women from Ash-Shaam entered upon 'Aa'ishah and said: "Where are you from?" The women answered: "We are of the people of Ash-Shaam (the area of present-day Syria)." '

Aa'ishah said: "Are you perhaps from that district which allows its women to enter the public baths?"

The said: "Yes".

She said: "As for me, I heard the Messenger of Allaah say: "Every woman who removes her clothes other than in her house has torn down all veils of modesty between herself and Allaah." [at-Tirmidhee, Abu Dawood and others: Saheeh]


23. The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets
It is forbidden for either the husband or the wife to spread any of the secrets of their bedroom to anyone outside. The following two hadith are about this:

First: "Verily among the worst people before Allaah on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets." [Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad and others].

Second: "On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated "that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: "Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?"

The people were silent. Then I said: "O, Yes! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that."

Then the Prophet said: "Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!" [Ahmad: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports]


24. The Obligation of a Wedding Feast

The husband must sponsor a feast after the consummation of the marriage. This is based on the order of the Prophet to 'Abur-Rahman ibn 'Auf to do so, and on the hadith narrated by Buraida ibn At-Haseeb, who said: "When 'Ali sought the hand of Faatimah (the Prophet's daughter) in marraige, he said that the Prophet said: "A wedding (and in another version "a bridegroom") must have a feast." The narrator said: "Sa'ad said: '(a feast) of a sheep.' Someone else said: 'Of such and such a quantity of corn." [Ahmad and at-Tabaraani: Its isnaad is acceptable as al-Haafiz Ibn Hajr says in Fathul-Baaree: 9/188]


25. The Sunnah of the Wedding Feast
The following should be observed with regard to the wedding banquet:

First: It should be held ('aqb - Fathul Baaree: 9/242-244) three days after the first wedding night, since this is the tradition of the Prophet which has reached us. On the authority of Anas who said: "The Prophet entered upon his wife and sent me to invite some men for food." [al-Bukhaaree and al-Baihaqi]. Also on the authority of Anas, he said: "The Prophet married Safiya, and her freedom was her dowry. He gave the feast for three days." [Abu Ya'laa and others: Hasan].

Second: One should invite the righteous to his banquet whether they be rich or poor. The Prophet said: "Do not be the friend of any except believers, and have only the pious eat your food." [Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhee and others: Saheeh].

Third: If one is able, he should have a feast of one or more sheep. Based on the following hadith, Anas said: "Abdur-Rahmaan came to al-Madeenah, and the Prophet assigned Sa'ad ibn Ar-Rabee' al-Ansaariy as his brother. Sa'ad took him to his house, called for food, and they both ate. The Sa'ad said: "O my brother, I am the wealthiest of the people of al-Madeenah (in another version: "... of the Ansaar"), so look to half of my property and take it (in another version: "... and I will divide my garden in half"). Also, I have two wives (and you, my brother in Allaah, have no wife), so look to which of mine pleases you more, so I can divorce her for you. Then upon the completion of the prescribed waiting period, you may marry her." '

Abdur-Rahmaan said: "No, by Allaah, may Allah bless you in your family and your property. Show me the way to the market-place."

And so they showed him the way to the market-place and he went there. He bought and he sold and he made a profit. In the evening , he came back to the people of his house with some dried milk for cooking and some ghee. After that some time elapsed, until he appeared one day with traces of saffron on his garments. The Prophet said to him: "What is this?"

He said: "O Messenger of Allaah, I have married a woman among the Ansaar."

The Prophet answered: "What did you give her for her dowry?" He answered: "The weight of five dirhams in gold."

Then, the Prophet said: "May Allaah bless you, give a feast if only with one sheep." '

Abdur-Rahmaan said: "I have seen myself in such a state that if I were to lift a stone, I would expect to find some gold or silver under it."

Anas said: "I saw after his death that each of his wives inherited one hundred thousand Dinars." [Al-Bukhaaree, an-Nasaa'ee and others].

Also on the authority of Anas he said: "I never saw the Prophet sponsor such a wedding feast as the one he gave for Zainab. He slaughtered a sheep and fed everyone meat and bread until they ate no more." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim and others].


26. Wedding Feasts can be give with Other than Meat

It is allowed to give the wedding banquet with any food which is available and affordable, even if that does not include meat. This is based on the following hadith narrated by Anas: "The Prophet stayed between Khaibar and al-Madeenah for three days during which he had entered with his wife Safiya . Then I invited the Muslims to his Wedding feast. There was neither meat nor bread at his feast. Rather, leather eating mats were brought out and on them were placed dates, dried milk, and clarified butter. The people ate their fill." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslim and others].


27. Participation of the Wealthy in the Feast with their Wealth

It is commendable for the wealthy to help in the preparations for the wedding feast based on the hadith narrated by Anas about the Prophet's marriage to Safiya: "Then, when we were on the road, Umm Sulaim prepared her (Safiya) for him (the Prophet and brought her to him at night, and so the the Prophet awoke the next morning a new bridgegroom.

Then he said: "Whoever has something, let him bring it." (In another version, he said "Whoever has an excess of provisions, let him bring it.")

Anas continues: "And so the leather eating mats were spread out and one man would bring dried milk, another dates and another clarified butter and so they made Hais (hais is a mixture of the above three things). The people then ate of this hais and drank from pools of rainwater which were nearby, and that was the wedding feast of the Prophet." [Al-Bukhaaree, Muslims and others].



***How happy am I, marry with a trully moslem who apply Islam in daily. Not only when doing worshiping. A trully moslem will always consider all activities are WORSHIPS. I love you for the sake of ALLAH. Who's the one???"
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What is colour of my AURA



Herewith I enclosed my result test regarding AURA. Do you believe that? But I think it represented me nicely. Wuahahah:

"We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Gold vibe. You couldn't ask for a better color — a glistening gold aura is as good as it gets. A lively blend of yellow and orange, gold people are happy, playful, energetic, sensitive, and generous. Always up for adventure, you'd give a friend in need the shirt off your back. You're spiritual, too — all those halos in old paintings aren't colored gold by coincidence. Almost childlike in the carefree, joyful way you live your life, you're popular and outgoing with your large circle of friends. Chances are you're so full of light and energy that you sometimes find it hard to sit still and chill out. Instead, you're constantly looking for excitement, no matter how risky or impulsive the occasion. Happy-go-lucky and always laughing, you truly are as good as gold."

***THANK YOU***
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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Let me LOVE him for the sake of Allah



The more day, I'm getting understand that trully love only
"Love for The Sake of Allah"
Love in marriage or NIKAH only

You know, I have passed so many attemptions to fall in love without marriage.
Astaghfirullahal adzim....
Then why Allah blessed us with love??? Why???
By the GOD, I just wanted to love once time for a whole life.
Love in marriage.
But..........Ohhh.........

Ya Allah.........
Let me love him for the sake of Allah........
Let me have one love only before return to you.....

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Mahabbah in Islam



What is love and how does one achieve it?
Love is something so complex that no words can define it. There are many meanings and forms and types of 'love.' Does the love for others mean kindness and affection, having moral nobility, and human respect, not a means of satisfying carnal desires and material whims? Is true love for others a feeling of affection which is free of motivation, pollution of thought, selfishness, and material interests? Is love conformant with the loftiness of spirit, the purity of mind, and intensity different for human beings than it is for the remainder of the animal kingdom? Does love remove the quality of animalism and savagery from an individual, give assurance and security, create an environment of peace and joy, and make life attractive and pleasant?

Concept of love in Islam

In Islam, love is first for Allah, occupying the heart and conscience in such a way that it overwhelms everything else. It was reported from a sage: "I never saw a thing but I saw Allah before it, after it, and along with it." The Glorious Qur'an says: "The believers are stauncher in (their) love for Allah." (2:165)

Second, the faithful harbour an intense love for Nabi Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wa Salam). This love in manifested by an desire to follow and imitate his example. The Glorious Qur'an says: "Say (O' Our Nabi) If ye do love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your sins; Verily, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (3:31)

Third, Islam advocates brotherly love in faith. Human beings can live in blessing and kindness so long as they love each other, show trust-worthiness, and behave according to truth and fairness. This brotherly love in faith also establishes good relations in society when it is done with sincerity and affection. In short, heartfelt love is simply sharing Islam. It is reported that a person was sitting beside Nabi Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wa Salam) when his friend happened to passed by. This man told Nabi Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wasallam): "I love that man for the sake of Allah." Nabi Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Waalihi Wa Salam) asked him if he had told his friend that, and the man answered in the negative. The man stood up, stopped his friend, and told him, "I love you for the sake of Allah." His friend replied: "I love you the way you love for His sake." It is reported that Allah loves that His servant salute one another clearly and openly.

This is the love in Islam. No words can define it. It's something so enigmatic, that only Allah could design it and He alone comprehends it. Wonder of wonders, it is beyond man's conception. Only in Allah can love find true perfection, for love is enduring, patient and kind. It judges all things with the heart, not the mind. Love can transform the most commonplace into beauty and splendor and sweetness and grace. Love is unselfish, giving more than it takes, being unconditional and unhampered by environment. Love never forsakes, it's faithful and trusting, truthful. It is guileless and honest and never deceiving. Love is Allah's Divine Gift.

Comparison to love of the world

On the other hand, there is the love of the world. Love of the world leads to a stage where a person can not see anything but the world before it, after it, and along with it. Every thought and action is for some worldly gain. Such a person cannot devote himself to pious deeds for more than a few days. It is reported that this world is like sea water. The more one drinks of it, the more one gets thirsty.

If this self-love is reinforced, it becomes more intense, exceeds the limit of expediency, and consequently turns into egoism and selfishness; producing great evil, polluting the person with many vices which leads to the violation of the rights of others, and promoting anti-human deeds. The only love between a man and a woman that achieves fruition is that between a husband and a wife. The love and compassion between a husband and a wife is a gift from Allah, and a loving wife finds happiness in obeying her husband.

In our world, there can be no value in anything that does not earn Allah 's good pleasure. Therefore, it is incumbent upon us to confine our efforts to seeking the next world, for this world has no value to us. We ask the Mighty Lord to purify our hearts, and to brighten us with faith - Ameen. Khalid Dhorat (Mawlana)
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Poor People and Kerosene



Few days behind, Indonesian Poor People meet difficult to get KEROSENE. For some people especially poor people, KEROSENE (=minyak tanah) is the most crucial thing for their life. They need KEROSENE to cook. If Kerosene getting expensive, poor people will cry.

Some people take this opportunities to play with Kerosene distribution. They accumulated it for some reasons and distributed it after poor people panic. So the 'naughty' distributor could sell it in higher price to get more margin.

I took these picture Yesterday (28 November 2006) from my office (Jalan Anggrek Cenderawasih Blok J No. 12). See how crowded. It was ironic. Poor people queue for KEROSENE. It was happened in JAKARTA. Amongst big building. Hey........government where are you???

Antri Minyak

Antri Minyak 3
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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

PT Samudera Indonesia History Building



Kali Besar

If you are SIG (Samudera Indonesia Group) member, you must be recognize well SIG building at Kali Besar 43. Here I'll let you see building at Kali Besar around 18th century. Could you guess where is SIG building?
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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Passer Baroe in History



Pasar Baru
Passer Baroe in Dutch colonial Era

Passer Baroe 2
Passer Baroe November 2006

Passer Baroe
Passer Baroe November 2006

In Pasar Baru, the remixed dangdut and house music played by traders blends to create a fitting background to the area's heritage shophouses with modern facelifts.

The commercial area founded by the Dutch in the early 1820s has seen four generations of traders place their own stamp on it, in form of building facades representing the much of the city's cultural history. There are Chinese buildings from the 17th century and Dutch buildings from the 18th century, some of which have remained untouched for hundreds of years.

Built as Old Batavia's third commercial center, Passer Baroe initially served as an upper-class shopping arcade for the residents of what was then Rijswijk, now Jl. Veteran. Chinese traders moved from the older Glodok area to the new prestigious block next to the Ciliwung river and opened shops selling everything from spectacles to shoes.

Justinus van Maurik wrote in his book Indrukken van een Totok, Indische type en schetsen about his experience ordering a pair of shoes from a well-known craftsman in the area, Sapie Ie.

The street where the craftsman used to live still bears his name, Sapie Ie Alley.

Little-known old Buddhist temple Sin Tek Bio, now trapped behind a traditional market and crowded settlement area, is another hidden example of early Chinese civilization in Batavia. A brass incense pot near the entrance has "Anno 1698" written on it, a remnant of the temple's original location, before it made way for a noodle stall.

"The temple was moved here around 100 years ago as the owner of its initial spot wanted to rent out the place," said temple caretaker Santoso.

The interior of a building bearing the sign Toko Kompak looks like it came straight out of a kung-fu movie. It is elegant, yet run down.

"This initially belonged to my great-grandfather. It was and still is a furniture shop," said the building's owner.

While Jl. Pasar Baru Raya was popular with Chinese traders, similar settlements were built in the surrounding area, reaching out east and west. As the number of residents in Risjwijk and neighboring Weltevereden grew, more facilities were built in Pasar Baru, including the Capitol and Astoria cinemas.

"I used to work in the Astoria, which later on, in the 1960s, became the Bioskop Satria," said Hanagi, a 72-year-old parking attendant at Pintu Air.

"Now, the cinema has been turned into office blocks, while the Capitol was torn down when the government built the Istiqlal mosque," he said. "They probably thought it wasn't good to have a cinema near a mosque."

Several older office blocks along Jl. Antara and Jl. Pintu Air represent the art deco style popular in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

Two nearby buildings have become national news agency Antara's journalism school and the Antara Photojournalism Gallery.

At the other end of the Pasar Baru shopping arcade stand modern market blocks Metro Pasar Baru, Kings Plaza and Istana Pasar Baru. The three buildings are typical of the architectural style popular in Jakarta in the 1980s.

Recently the city administration announced it planned to revamp the area in the mold of South Jakarta's Cilandak Town Square.

Pasar Baru's history and variety could soon be replaced with air-conditioning and department stores. (Anissa Febrina)
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My lovely cat: TIGER



Tiger

Name is TIGER. He is the 1st son of Tilang (mom) and Mr. Pow (dad). He has younger brother Bilee, but BIlee become wild cat now. Tilang is the last daughter of Polly. The late of Polly was black-white male cat. He was special gift from my best friend Daisy Fithasari.

TIGER is a lazy fat cat. He loves to eat very much. His another habbit is sleeping. Sleeping & eating are the main activities. Although fat, but He is so coward. He is always lose in every fighting. And now He prefer to keep staying at home to avoid fighting with another cat. Even He has no courage to pissing. Why? Pissing is the way to signing the authority place. And if a male cat has done it. He has to responsible with his authority place. How to defend that place? by fighting ofcourse...And TIGER prefer to sleep at home then do that.

TIGER also scare with mouse. He will run away to avoid mouse. What the hell of cat is he?!? And He never get involved special relationship with female cat. He seems no interest to a cat girl. I thought He is a transvestite cat. So we often call him, "An Useless Cat".

Oneday on Ramadhan, Tiger dissapeared. One week passed. And we were getting confused to look for Tiger. 2 week passed, but Tiger hasnt come yet. Although we had tried to search him hardly. 3 weeks...........even a week after Lebaran. He never emerged.
We thought that Tiget followed his younger brother Bilee to get wild on the way. But how could. Tiger is different to Bilee. Bilee is a fighter cat. And Tiger even cant get his own food by himself. How could Tiger survive???

1st November 2006, Tiger came. Suddenly My mom heard his softly voices "MEOWWWWWWW.......".
My mom asked, " Is that you, Tiger?". And TARRAMMMMMMM........!!! Suddenly Tiger appeared in living room.
My mom welcame him happyly, "Hey TIger how are you?"
Tiger run fast and cried happily with his MEOW voices. And then He lied down on my mom lap spoily.
Not yet finished my mom surprised, My younger brother Aldi was shouting, "Ibu..........ada kucing betina!!!" (=Mom any female cat here)
My mom woke up and walked out and saw.........TARRAMMMMMM!!! A female cat.
Again my mom asked TIGER, "Is that your wife Tiger?"
Tiger behaved spoiled may be tried to hid his shyness.

And we were looking at to white female cat outside. He stood outside the fence. We were surprised.....And.........We realized, that TIGER dissapeared for a month due to He went to his wife's KAMPONG for MUDIK Lebaran. And that day was the perfect time to show his newly wife to all family.
Ahahhahahahah.............Tiger wanted to show that He is truly male cat.

If He doesnt like to fighting, because He loves peace.
If He hate mouse/rat, because He knows better the concept of healthy.
If He never get involved with a female cat before, because He doesnt like to have special relationship before marriage. He doesnt like to wasting time for zinah. If He loves a female cat, He will marry her.
He loves to eat, because He thankful to Allah for all blessing that He has. He realizes that not much cat as lucky as him.
If He loves to sleep, because He knows that Sleeping better than making sins (fighting, gossips, stealing fish, etc)



Hahahahah...............Have you got something from my TIGER???
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Why I lost My Dreams?



dream

My friend called me a dreamed girl. I always figure my self in the best condition. I tried to manage my thinking positively. Long time, before I found the miraculous book "The Power of Your Subsconscious Mind". I had used "YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK ALL DAY LONG" properly. I hate when someone told me that He/She has fallen down, no chance to change.

I know better "Think good, good follows. Think evil, evil follows". Allah will answer our DUA. Positively prayer will be more get attention than praying while you are not sure what are you praying.

I believe that the only matters that we cant change are; birth, death & companion of life. But another destiny is depend on our efforts. Although I cant deny, that:
Allah Answer Dua in 3 ways,
HE says YES, And HE will gives you what you want as soon as possible.
HE says NO, HE will changes with better things (Dunya or akhirat)
HE says WAIT, HE will gives you what you want until the perfect time



But sometimes as a human being I'm dissapointed with the result. Astaghfirullahaladzim......

I thought I lost my Dreams but Allah has changes it with better things. Alhamdulillah...

Why bother?
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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Is it cute?





Ya Allah,
I want to be a supermom for my "jundillah".
When will that perfect time coming???
:P:P:P
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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

My Emotional Intelligence Quotient



Your EQ is 147

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

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My blogging type



Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger.
You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause.
You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you!
A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

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What do people envy about me



People Envy Your Confidence
You have the attitude and self esteem to take on anything. Failure is beyond not an option for you - it doesn't even cross your mind.People envy your ability to take on any challenge ... and they're secretly afraid you think you're better than them. You don't. You're just sure of yourself.

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Friday, November 10, 2006

The Power Of Your Subsconcious Mind




If you were building a new home for yourself, you know that you would be intensely interested in regard to the blueprint for your home; you would see to it that the builders conformed to the blueprint. You would watch the material and select only the best wood, steel, in fact, the best of everything. What about your mental blueprint for happiness and abundance? All your experiences and everything that enters into your life depend upon the nature of the mental building blocks which you use in the construction of your mental home.

If your blueprint is full of mental patterns of fear, worry, anxiety, or lack, and if you are despondent, doubtful, and cynical, then the texture of the mental material you are weaving into your mind will come forth as more toil, care, tension, anxiety, and limitation of all kinds.

The most fundamental and the most far reaching activity in life is that which you build into your mentality every waking hour. Your word is silent and invisible; nevertheless, it is real.

You are building your mental home all the time, and your thought and mental imagery represent your blueprint. Hour by hour, moment by moment, you can build radiant health, success, and happiness by the thoughts you think, the ideas which you harbor, the beliefs that you accept, and the scenes that you reherse in the hidden studio of your mind. This stately mansion, upon construction of which you are perpetually engaged, is your personality, your identity in this plane, your whole life story.

-- Dr. Joseph Murphy in "Power of Your Subconscious Mind"
Review of Highlights:
  1. Think good, good follows. Think evil, evil follows. You are what you think all day long.
  2. Your subsconscious mind doesnt argue with you. It accepts what your conscious mind decrees. If you say, "I cant afford it," your subsconscious works to make it true. Select a better thought. Decree, "I afford to do it. I accept it in my mind."
  3. You are the captain of your soul (subsconscious mind).
  4. Whatever your subsconscious mind assumes and believes to be true, your subsconscious mind will accept and bring it to pass. Believe in good fortune, divine guidance, right action and all blessings of life.
  5. Insha Allah, we'll face all difficult issues easyly.

KEEP SPIRIT!!! بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِِ

***Its my inspiring book. Thanks ya!


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Thursday, November 09, 2006

My Result Test






Your Existing Situation
Volatile and outgoing. Needs to feel that events are developing along desired lines, otherwise irritation can lead to changeability or superficial activities.

Your Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and of separation from others. Believes that life still has far more to offer and that she may miss her share of experiences if she fails to make the best use of every opportunity. She therefore pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity and commits herself deeply and readily. Feels herself to be completely competent in any field in which she engages, and can sometimes be considered by others to be interfering or meddlesome.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Circumstances are forcing her to compromise, to restrain her demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things she wants.
Very exacting in the standards she applies to her choice of a partner and seeking a rather unrealistic perfection in her sex life.
Feels that she is receiving less than her share and that there is no one on whom she can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions and a certain egocentricity make her quick to take offense, but she realizes that she has to make the best of things as they are.
Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. Able to obtain physical satisfaction from sexual activity but tends to hold aloof emotionally.

Your Desired Objective
Seeks affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Desires an intimate union, in which there is a love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust.

Your Actual Problem
Needs to achieve a stable and peaceful condition, enabling her to free herself of the worry that she may be prevented from achieving all the things she wants.

Your Actual Problem #2
Does not wish to be involved in differences of opinion, contention or argument, preferring to be left in peace.
***Do you think that test has been enough to describe my personality ?

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The first smile after Bude Nik passed away





Its been 4 days after Bude Nik left us forever.
The picture was taken when, I was gonna left Semarang by last flight to Jakarta on 5 November 2006.
Although we were so sad. But we didnt allowed to sink in sadness forever. We didnt want Bude was finding difficult to walk in hereafter.
And here was the first smile after huge sadness.
From left to right:
Mbak Ana, Bude Sum, Mbak Widya, My mom, Mbak Ulfah, Bude Si
and in the middle was Pipit.



Then Where was I? Hehehe.........I was with my damned fun cousin Mbak Ana

Notes:
Mbak Ulfah and Mbak Ana are Bude Nik's daughters
Mbak Widya is Mas Roni's wife to be
Bude Si, Bude Sum, My mom are Bude Nik's sisters
Pipit is cousins from Pak de Huri (=Bude Nik's husband)
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Lonely in office






Hello...........any body in office?
Nop only me and sometime Mbak Tini (=BDU's Office Girl). How sad am I?
But no worries, I cant still keep stylish. Although only the ghost which stay in BDU's room who can see me. Hahahah..........

*enjoying the last days in BDU
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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Someone who loves you



Do you know what are the signs of someone who loves you? Here I'll let you know:

1. Someone who loves you, cant gives the reasons why He/She loves you. He/She only knows that you are the only one.

2. Someone who loves you actually always makes you angry/mad/annoyed/irritated/stress. But He/She never knows the stupid things that He/She has done, because whatever He/She do is for you.

3. Someone who loves you, seldom praise you but in his/her heart you are the best that He/She has known.

4. Someone who loves you, will angry and complain if you dont reply his/her message (sms, mms, email) or phone. Because He/She cares you and dont want something bad happens to you.

5. Someone who loves you, only drop his/her tears in front of you. When you try to remove them, you have tough his/her heart which always gulp/tick/throb for you

6. Someone who loves you, will remember each words that you said, even unintended words. And He/She will always use that words in proper time.

7. Someone who loves you will not easyly promises to you. Because He/She dont want to deny his/her promises. He/She want to you trust him/her and gives you the most happiness life forever.

8. Someone who loves you may be cant remember special day, such as your birthday. But He/She knows that every seconds that He/She has passed, He/She loves you. Dont care what day is it.

9. Someone who loves you will not tells you 'I LOVE YOU' easyly due to all that He/She do for you to prove that He/She is ready to love you. But She/He only want to say 'I LOVE YOU' on special situation, because He/She doesnt want you misunderstand. He/She wants to you know that He/She loves you.

10.Someone who really loves you will think that something should be told only once, because He/She think that that You've understood him/her self. If too much talking, He/She will feel&think that no more that can makes you happy/smile.

11.Someone who loves you will come to airport to pick u up, He will not bring you a bouguet of flower or calling you 'honey' as you wishes. But He will take your luggage and say, "Why you looks thinner?" with his/her truly heart.

12.Someone who loves you doesnt know does he/she should calls you when you angry, but He/She will send you messages after couple hours. When you asking him/her why late on calling, He/She will answer, "When you angry all my reasonable arguments will be junks/garbages. But when you have calmed down the arguments will be worked".

13.Someone who loves you will keep all the things that you gives even a small papers with handwriting 'I LOVE YOU' on his/her pockets. And someone who loves you seldom says sweet sentences to you but you know that his/her kisses has conveyed all the feelings.

14.Someone who loves you will always try to make you smile and laughing although sometimes with confusing ways.

15.Someone who loves you trully will wrap your hurt heart and will keep it from another hurt. He/She will gives you the best things although He/She has to hurt him/herself.


16.Someone who loves you will willing to let you go, if being with him/her you are not feeling happy. And He/She will be happy although you are happy being someone else.


Have you loved someone such that?

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Selamat Jalan Bude........



"Goodbye Bude.........I'll miss you. May Allah let you have special place beside you"

Name is SUKARNI MD, SAg. She was born 55 years ago in Purworejo. She was lovely 'bude' (=aunt).She was easyly getting in touch with people. She was generous. She never forgot to give me 'angpau' when I was child. Not only me but also my younger brothers and other cousins & nephews.
She never forgot to bring us handout when we were visiting 'JELOK' or SEMARANG. Time with her was the precious time. I always enjoyed the limited time with her and family. Pak de Huri, Mas Ron, Mbak Ulfah and Mas Ron.......

But on 2nd November 2006 at 5:55 am. She left us to return to ALLAH. It was really shocking me and big family. How could??? But Allah's destiny is the best for us. May be Allah has missed her to come to paradise.

Well, I remember with her last sentences to me when I visited JELOK, may parent's hometown last EID.
She said, "Will you visit Semarang?"
I answered, "Oh.....unfortunately we havent enough time. May be next time"
She only smiled and said, "Well, You wont see 'bude' anymore"
I said, " WHY? Dont say like that. Next time I'll be there. May be next year"
She said, "Well, may be next year you'll be in US and no time to see Semarang"
I just smile........

But now I realize that BUDE trying hard to convey secreet message that She's gonna leave us forever.........She passed with 'Khusnul Khatimah'

INNA LILLAHI WA INNA ILAIHI RAAJI'UN
May Allah give you the best place in AKHIRAT. Ameen
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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Hafiz Pahlevi looks more charming





Today, Mr. Hafiz came to BDU. He was having meeting with DPSI regarding "UANG PENSIUN". Mr. Hafiz looks more charming, younger than before. Why???
Because his salary now more than twice before. Because He got car allowance, housing allowance, etc. He looks happy....
He seemed has solved all of his debt (hehehehe..........).

Mr. Hafiz came with his KUDA GRANDIA with sophisticated car interior. But He said, its only temporary car before HONDA JAZZ. He brought motorola with good features (compare with his old Nokia!). He brought laptop Toshiba (Its not really good compare with his old ACER hahahahha).

And He has moustasche. Hahahha...........Well..but I'm happy He looks happy. I remember with last month or the month when I spent emptiness in BDU with him and others. We never lost dream. I encourage him to keep dreaming!!! He remember with my miracoulus word 'You are what you think all day long'. Hehehe.......
Now.........He has passed Allah test. Who next from BDU???
Coz my time almost finish here...

Come on!!! KEEP SPIRIT!!!
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Celebrated Eid with cousins in hometown




Grandmom from daddy. The only that I have. My Grand dad & grandmom from mom had passed also my grand dad from daddy.



The way to my grandmom's house




Widya & Mbak Fifi. Do they such as a pair of newly couples. Hahahh...


Me, Mbak Fifi & Novan (Alun-alun Kota Purworejo)


Enjoying day by laughing with Mbak Ana



Its me & Mas Soeb........


Me,Mbak Ana, Mbak Ulfah.......
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